What You Owe The Salvation Army For Listening To These Terrible Christmas Songs

Nov 22, 2019

How much you owe the Salvation Army every time you listen to the following Christmas songs:

“Last Christmas” by Wham!: 50 cents

Any Christmas song by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra: $1

“Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid (1984 version): $1

“Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid 20 (2004 version): $2

“Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid 30 (2014 version): $3

“Christmas Shoes” (Bob Carlisle cover): $5

“Christmas Shoes” (NewSong cover): $10

Pretty much any version of “Mary, Did You Know?”: $20

The Pentatonix cover of “Mary, Did You Know?”: $25

Actually, any Pentatonix song: $25

Maroon 5’s cover of “Happy Christmas (The War is Over)”: $50

Anything off Songs For Christmas by Sufjan Stevens: Must donate one ETSY item to local toy bank

One viewing of Love Actually: $10,000

Joshua Gibbs

Joshua Gibbs

Joshua Gibbs is an author, lecturer, and teacher of classical literature at Veritas School in Richmond, Virginia. He is the author of How To Be Unlucky, Something They Will Not Forget, and Blasphemers. His wife is generous and his children are funny.

The opinions and arguments of our contributing writers do not necessarily reflect those of the Institute or its leadership.

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